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Everyone is born with innate talent. Gifts from the heavens that you can develop and turn into profit. Unfortunately, many people’s talents get buried at a young age. Failing to blossom and bloom at it’s full potential.

I have a friend who loved drawing when young. His parents saw him drawing, and took away his pencil, saying that he would never make any money doing that. When he was older, he told his parents he wanted to learn cooking and be a chef. His parents said, “No, cooking can never make you rich. It’s a waste of money learning that.” They would not sponsor his culinary course. Then later, when he could not score well in school, his dad said, “You are stupid. Why can’t you be smarter like everyone else?”

It’s easy to crush inborn talent. All it takes is a simple, “No”. I’m sure his parents want the best for him, and they are trying to mould him to be what they think society will pay for. But they do not realise that by stopping him from following his interests, they are preventing him from finding himself. Everyone must follow their own path. A road laid out specially for them. And when it comes a time when they see this glimmer of greatness within themselves, we should fully support them in aiming for their dreams. Follow your interests, and everyday is full of fun and discovery. Otherwise, life can just seem bland and repetitive. And that’s the truth.

My friend tells me that for most of his childhood, he was unhappy. Unable to express himself, he became withdrawn. Retreating into his own mind and keeping to himself. He feels that he’s not as good as others, whom seem so confident being who they are… He doesn’t see the greatness within himself.

We talk about his dream of pursuing the culinary arts, and his love for drawing. I ask him, “Do you believe in yourself? If you take this path, will you put your heart and soul into making it a success? Because let me tell you… You can make money doing anything, as long as you are good enough at it.” I look at the lines of his hand, and it shows me he has a creative and imaginative mind. But there is a break in the line, meaning that early in life, the growth of his talent was cut off. ‘A pity,’ I thought. ‘If only he had spent his younger years growing this ability. Today, he would really shine.’

Here’s an important rule if you are planning a personal growth programme: You become whatever you expose yourself to. And that includes your country, the culture, the place you work, the people you hang out with; the books you read (non-fiction or sex novel?), the shows you watch (inspiring & educational or trash TV & porno?), and the emotions you allow yourself to engage in on a daily basis (lust, anger, frustration or peace, love, and harmony?) You can choose what you expose yourself to; you can choose what you allow yourself to feel. But once the thoughts enter your mind and become deep-rooted beliefs, that sets your way of thinking, so be selective because your future’s at stake. You can build a palace or you can build a prison.

“Ask Lancism” - ask.lancism.com

Janet asks: “How do you figure out who you are and be happy with yourself?”

Hi Janet, you’re asking a deep question. The first part about figuring out who you are, depends on your level of self-awareness. How well do you know your own temperament and personality; your strengths and weaknesses; your talents and abilities? People seeking to know themselves often engage in a process of self-discovery, where they question their purpose for living and why they are here. Now this is not an instant 20 minute process, some people take weeks and years to figure out who they are. The process is gradual with corrections along the way.

Okay, so now let me give you a metaphor for figuring out who you are. Imagine you are a heroine on a journey through life. Now every hero needs a quest or purpose or ultimate goal. Who decides what this ultimate purpose is? The hero of course. So you need to create your own ultimate goal to aim for, which will give meaning to your life. The same applies to your personality. You need to choose who you want to be. All self is self-created. We decide who we want to be and then through our actions and behaviors we manifest that person into reality.

When we were young, many of us had dreams of what we would like to be, do, and have in life. But too many years of hard schooling and laborious work wiped those dreams from our mind. We are brainwashed to conform to the norm of society, leaving our individuality behind. So now we need to reclaim that younger part of ourselves which was buried under exam stress, non-stop essays, mean bosses, and conniving colleagues. I have written a detailed process for reclaiming our buried selves. It’s in this article, “Achieving Personal Greatness“.

For the second part of your question about being happy with yourself, it is related to the first part about being self-aware. If you know who you are currently, and who you want to be in the future, the gap between where you are now and where you want to be can affect your happiness. The greater the gap, the less happy people are with themselves. Of course, this does not apply to all people, especially if they can see beyond the gap and realize that happiness is found in the present moment. If we keep looking to the future for happiness, we will never realize how fortunate we are, right now.