Posted on July 26, 2008 - by Lance Ong

Controlling The Inner Pervert

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Men have two heads. The big head, and the little head (the smaller, more purple one). The problem is, in the average male, although the purple head is smaller, it’s also more powerful than the big head. That’s why they say, “It has a mind of its own.”

Many times when I suggest that men should practice self-control, discipline, and restraint, I know it’s not easy. As a male, I know how powerful the little head can be. Why do you think psychologists say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds? That’s the little head doing the thinking. And if you think with your little head, it’s going to lead you around by the ‘you know what’, and cause you to waste time, money, and energy. Resources which can be put to better use.

Just today I was walking to lunch with a friend along Singapore’s Arab street when I passed by a serious-looking Chinese businessman in a short-sleeved shirt — about 48 years-old with a royal belly, a shock of gray hair, and a large mole on his left cheek. He looked fine and proper, but what unnerved me was the way he looked at the two women who were passing on my right. He kept a straight face, but the intensity of his gaze told me he was visualizing something in his mind. As he walked pass the women, his right hand reached down and groped his crotch, a slight curl appeared at the corner of his mouth. Then he noticed me watching, his facial expression tightened and became blank. I looked away pretending not to notice.

The world is getting pretty perverted and sexuality is out of control. In public spaces, men stare lustfully at women’s bodies, commenting about how big or how small, giving the woman a ‘hotness rating’ on a scale of one to ten. Comic books depict sexual acts with alien tentacles, French maids, sibling incest and other unmentionables.

This perversion is further fueled by the media. Splash open any urban magazine for men or women, and you’ll be assaulted by the number of sexy pictures and juicy stories. The risqué tolerance is so high that a breast is not considered exposed as long as it has two little stickers or two fingers covering the nipples.

All this leads to a perversion of the mind. A guy once asked me, “How do I make money and be productive? All I like to do is watch porn and spank my monkey.”

“What would you do if you had money?” I asked.
“Get laid, of course!” he exclaimed.
“Well, you’re already getting laid by your hand,” I said wryly.

If this guy had money, he would definitely turn into a player and wreck havoc in many women’s lives. I was thinking, “This is why the Universe does not allow you to prosper… because you are driven by wrong motivation.” But of course I could not say that to him outright. That would be insensitive.

The problem with the player is that he or she does not respect a person as an individual. But rather, they see the opposite sex as their plaything or toy. A human being becomes an object rather than a person with dreams and desires of their own. They have no qualms about going in and messing up someone’s life for their own pleasure. How would you like it if someone comes into your life, wins over your heart and then crushes it? Throughout the ages, what women have yearned for is sincerity. But what they get are wolves in sheep’s skin.

The amount of emotional pain a player causes an innocent soul will definitely be multiplied and returned to them at a later stage in their life. By hurting others, we create Karma for ourselves.

That might not be the end of it… a scorned ex-lover might approach a witch or a voodoo master to put a curse on you. Your luck can reverse; your whole life will turn upside down. And worse, you won’t even know why.

Never say ‘I love you’ without meaning it because ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’.  I suppose you can also say, ‘…like a man scorned’. But men would more likely take direct action like murder rather than use magic.

When we see people as objects rather than individuals, we say insensitive things like, ‘fatter than Jupiter’, or ‘he’s so bald I can see my reflection’ or ‘boobs like an airplane tarmac’ and ‘her face is uglier than my dog’s’. Maybe it’s funny, but it’s also painful for the person it’s directed at. Avoid judging people as objects.

If you do judge people in this way, then we might say your mind is infected with a cultural disease. You need to be cured. And the first step to the curing of a diseased mind is the removal of mental trash. Cut the intake of media which discusses and disrespectfully displays people as objects. These include gossip magazines and tabloid news, internet porn sites and trash TV. Just like how junk food spoils your body, junk content spoils your mind. Some people close their eyes and all they can see are pornographic images; then they complain they can’t seem to accomplish anything worthwhile. Remember the computer term, GIGO, Garbage In Garbage Out — what you get out of yourself, is only as good as the content you put in.

If you can adopt these three habits: 1) Respect people as individuals, 2) Avoid hurting others through words or actions, and 3) Cut the intake of mental trash, you will come closer to developing a personality which people love and appreciate. Your refined character will attract new people into your life (possibly romance). The removal of mental garbage will give you more clarity of purpose to enhance your vision and direction in life. Plus, the mental space allows you to think and reflect deeply.

Go out and look at a person through their eyes (the windows to the soul) rather than their body shape or how they dress. You can easily fool the untrained eye with some fancy clothes, but you can’t fool the person who knows how to read your soul. I will be teaching these sacred soul reading techniques in my upcoming wisdom development program coming in December this year.

Another thing you can do is not try and pick up every person you meet. Everyone has their own life to lead, and they would be better off if you did not interfere with their life’s path. Messing with other people just for the fun of it will invite problems into your own life. Only do it when you are sincere.

Finally, replace your gossip magazines and porn with some good books and engaging hobbies. Simply channel your extra energy into worthwhile pursuits. That will help you grow into a more interesting and well-rounded individual.

These three qualities are important in developing an optimal character, but there are hundreds more I do not have the time to tell you about yet. I will attempt to expound on these unique characteristics in each article I write. You can subscribe to my RSS feed to stay in touch with the latest teachings.